Paige: Tragic Losses

November 12, 2009 at 12:01 am 2 comments

Paige018A tragic loss means many different things to different kids depending on their life experience.  If you were to ask the average child what tragic loss they had, their answer might range anywhere from the score at one of their soccer games, to their parents’ divorce, or loss of a family pet.  If you were to ask me, and other kids like me, about tragic loss, the answer would range anywhere from loss of childhood, to loss of limbs or friends.  My journey through cancer brought with it many tragic losses.

At the age of 10, I went from playing with dolls to fighting for my life.  The sad truth is that through my journey with cancer I lost my childhood somehow.  I can’t recall how many times I was told not to forget that it was okay to just be a kid.  Somewhere along the way I guess I just forgot how.  Maybe it was because I spent so much time dealing with things that kids should never have to deal with.  Life became very serious.

Being told I would not grow anymore hit me pretty hard too.  It was even harder finding out I would probably never be able to have children of my own.  Then there was the news of the strong probability of going through menopause before I even finished with puberty.  The list goes on.  I was getting used to bad news and more and more losses.  I was bound and determined to have a mourning period, and then pick myself up and make the best of it.  Life is too short to spend it counting all the things you can’t have.  I had to focus on the good things and keep track of the countless things that were available to me.  I convinced myself it was a small price to pay for life.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kimberley Blease  |  November 12, 2009 at 6:33 am

    Wow Paige – your comments about loss are really profound – and sad – I had not thought of these in this way before. Thank you for sharing them. K

    Reply
  • 2. Paige  |  November 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    Hi Kimberley,

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. I guess it may sound kind of sad. It is hard to deal with these losses at my age, ( maybe at any age ) but it really isn’t that sad. With every loss I had, something positive and really special always came from it too. I believe in my heart that everything happens for a reason and we are supposed to learn from them and become a better person in the end.

    Love Paige

    Reply

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